After all the articles I have written about theatre you would have thought I had seen about everything, so did I, but here I was, leaving York Theatre Royal, munching on a piece of caraway bread that I had just seen been baked live on stage. The thing is that it wasn’t done during a conventional cookery demonstration, but as part of a play, which was so clever, that I am still not sure as to whether it was actually as it seems and not a hoax.
Crumbs, is a one-woman show, written by Kate Bramley and performed by Ellen Carnazza, which puts we, the audience, at the inaugural live podcast from the TV celebrity baking presenter, Petronella Parfait, as she demonstrates her new creation, the aforementioned caraway bread. From the outset it is obvious that the enterprise is not going to run smoothly as there seems to be a perfect storm brewing regarding Ms Parfait’s financial affairs and a breach of copyright regarding the loaf. Whilst turning out to be traumatic for the A-list dough girl, it is hilarious for us to witness her spectacular fall from grace, whilst continuing to be in total denial.
Ellen Carnazza as Petronella Parfait gets ready to present her first live podcast
Being set in the digital age, the recipe does not come free to the viewers, it is £9.99 a pop via a QR code. Fortunately, we audience members can access it for nowt on the back of the complimentary programme, designed by A J Lowe. The story unfolds by using a prop resembling a six-foot tall smartphone with a space where the screen should be, enabling Ms Carnazza to don various hats and scarves to enact FaceTime calls from interested parties when Petronella’s mobile pings. This invariably happens at crucial stages in the preparation of the loaf.
Apart from Petronella, the actor plays another half-dozen characters; her estranged mother, Lady Payne; Penny Puttanesca, the Italian Godmother who owns the pizza parlour next door to the studio/kitchen; Demelza Meek, Petronella’s cheesed-off PA; Gloria Gluten, a childhood friend who is now a barrister representing Mrs Crumble, an elderly Welsh woman and claimant in the patent action, and Big Tony, the son of – and enforcer for – Penny Puttanesca.
Petronella with porcine friend who is hoping that the loaf is not for a bacon sandwich.
Not only is the legal action a problem, the divine Ms Parfait has been living well beyond her means and so has needed to employ methods to stay afloat which are even more creative than her recipes. All of those ingredients are mixed together to provide us with a couple of hours of fun and laughter.
The set, designed by A J Lowe and built by John Bramley, looked simple, being a basic kitchen with store cupboard on one side and oven on the other, but as the show progressed, it turned out to be a death trap with shelves collapsing and apron hooks giving way – all intentionally I must add. The work surface was a small island just large enough for the kneading and rolling out of the dough and a lovely piece of comedy utilising a flour shaker.
There you go, my old flour.
Speaking of the comedy, as you will probably gather from the names of the characters, there were a lot of bread related puns, some of which were very funny and others a bit half-baked – Yessss. Being a one-woman show, the responsibility for its success was heaped squarely on the shoulders of Ellen Carnazza, who was brilliant in all respects. The slapstick was executed with apparent ease and the various accents convincing, Signorina Puttanesca’s sounding more menacing being of the New Jersey Italian variety rather than the Sicilian – Hey! wadya gunna duboudit? The best portrayal of all, however, was Big Tony, who didn’t say a word, but just shrugged his shoulders. Somehow, just by donning a pair of sun glasses and contorting her face, the glamorous Ms Carnazza, in full make-up and crimson lipstick, became a bullnecked, slitty mouthed cartoon hoodlum – incredible. Not only was this transformation impressive the first time it was done, the encounter between the two characters culminated in a chase scene where she was swapping identities whilst pursuing herself. A brilliant piece of theatre.
Finally I must talk about the baking itself. There were two types of execution for this; in the first half it was a case of ‘Here’s one I made earlier’ whereas in the second, as well as this being repeated, there was an hilarious version made from scratch. All three were put in the oven, which had a glass door and was facing the audience. In view of the special effects wreaking havoc on the kitchen I tried to keep one eye on the oven to see if it was actually working. The problem being I was so distracted by the performance that my attention kept wandering. In addition, when Petronella’s phone rang, the lights went off to enable the costume augmentation, so it was not beyond the realms of possibility that there was a switch from behind at some stage, as all the loaves came out seemingly perfectly done.
How dare you question whether the bread was cooked live, Mr Graham!
The Lighting Designer and Stage Manager was Duncan Hands and, not only was Kate Bramley the writer, but also the Director.
Crumbs is at the Studio, York Theatre Royal until 23rd May, but you can catch the last two dates on the tour on 25th June at North Stainley, Ripon and 26th June at Hartlepool. For more details, and to book, please go to https://www.badappletheatre.co.uk/show/crumbs/
To learn more about Badapple Theatre Company, who specialise in performing theatre in unconventional places, see https://www.badappletheatre.co.uk/
To read more about York Theatre Royal and what is coming, it is https://www.yorktheatreroyal.co.uk/
Photographs from Badapple Theatre Company
Tyke It To The Limit 